RELUCTANT PRESS

Page 78

COMM

TWO LITTLE GIRLS

By JENNIFER SUE

I'd been getting turned on by him! I just zoned everything out after that...I'm no faggot! I never got turned on by guys before, and I'm not about to start doing it now!

The rest of the day I looked at the cuter girls and unsuccessfully tried to get turned on. After each frustrating try, my mind drifted back to Mr. Drew, and THEN I'd get aroused! I'm scared...SO scared I couldn't tell Cindy tonight when she unsuccessfully tried to get aroused. She just smiled sadly and kissed me. But even THAT felt different. No longer was it a lovers kiss...it was a sibling kiss...and Cindy knew it. Neither of us had to say a word to know that our love affair was over.

"Nick, I'm still your best friend," she told me tenderly just before she left. "Your aura...it's settling down a bit...I think mostly on pink...like a girl. I know you're having problems. When you're ready to talk, I'll listen."

Journal Entry: October 9, 1997

My life is sheer hell!

I've tried to get back to the way it was before the accident. But it's no use, though. I'm just not the same. No matter how much I try to deny the truth, it just keeps hitting me in the face. I don't know how much more I can take. I'm quite sure that Miss Malloy did something to me before she died.

Every night I dream about her...how she aged...and her last words keep coming back to haunt me. "I'm sorry, oh so sorry! I didn't mean this to happen, you must believe me! It's not my fault! I'm sorry." She wasn't talking about the accident, I'm convinced of that!

I still can't get my manhood hard, no matter how hard or long I try. Neither can Cindy. In fact, tonight she told me she was going to stop trying. SHE knows it's hopeless! I don't know what to do. How can I tell Dr. Harvey my weenie is shrinking? Or that my balls are turning to mush? They hardly have any consistency anymore. Cindy says it's too icky and won't touch me there anymore. I can't blame her.

Page 79